Today I went live to discuss my essay “I Went on My Third First Date in Over Six Years” — and to reflect on the full first-date trilogy as a whole.
Across these three essays, I trace what it actually felt like to re-emerge into dating in my 50s after a long relationship: one date too hot, one too cold, and one where I was, perhaps, too much.
What I thought were stories about men turned out to be stories about recalibration — about nervous systems, performance, projection, and the slow return to self-possession. We talked about chemistry versus compatibility, about temperature checks, and about what it means to stop performing and start inhabiting yourself again.
You can read (or listen to me read) the trilogy here:
Thanks to You Ready Grandma, Margaret Williams, MS, ACC, Nick G, A Dude On The Couch, BJ Roberts, Freya and many others for showing up and shaping the conversation in real time — and to Lynette for holding the room.
Special thanks to my Founding Members: Karen Marie Shelton, Mason/She/Her🩷💜💙, Alan Wiley, Craig Weissman, and Shālah B Pookie. You’re the very best and I’m so grateful for your support.
Thanks for listening.
I’m Dana DuBois, an essayist and GenX word nerd living in the Pacific Northwest — and founder of I Write Out Loud and co-host of The Daily Whatever Show.
Through memoir writing, audio storytelling, and community spaces, I explore the larger cultural forces shaping relationships, feminism, parenting, media, modern dating, and life in mid-flight.
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