Every generation has contradictions associated with it, though. One of the big contradictions of Gen Z is that they’ll march against political fascism and for inclusion all day long, but will cog in other control machines without a single critical thought, as long as the right influencer espouses it. For our generation, our paradox was that we hated the system that left us alone till our parent(s) came home, yet we built a digital world that makes our kids feel isolated, even when they’re in the same room as us.
This hit home for me, especially in light of the Epstein files.
My unnecessarily long comment:
There was a sadness, a grief that washed over me as I realized that Trump and his friends directly influenced fashion, Hollywood, and media; encouraging a child-like physique, no hips, boobs, or body hair.
It made me sick to know they shaped my perception of self, feeling the need to starve myself pretty, never feeling like I was small enough, and that there wasn’t ever an “enough”.
Idolizing girls with eating disorders because they “clearly” had more will power and strength. Feeling a panic knowing I may be expected to eat when attending a function or gathering, and feeling pride when someone inevitably commented on how little I was eating.
Remembering the thousands of times my reflection caught my attention in any reflective surface as an opportunity to compulsively check if I looked skinny enough, knowing the answer was always “no”.
Watching back the show Will and Grace reminds me of all the language and discussion surrounding body issues that were prevalent at the time.
Understanding all of that, I have made a conscious effort to not let my daughter hear me make negative comments about my body and not shaming food choices, but rather focusing on how food makes our body feel and how we feel when we express ourselves physically through clothing, accessories, and makeup.
A very wonderful comment. Not too long but one making points and providing examples and then a conclusion of where you are choosing to go with your awareness.
I agree that I need to be aware “enough”, studied “enough” and communicative “enough” to call out what we see as harmful. Who cares if we are the only ones to see that we shouldn’t all fit in to the same darn box unless we aren’t human “enough”.
I feel this so much. I've always been plump. My mom literally won beauty contests when she was young. My sister had "hollow legs" and could eat anything without gaining weight. Clothes shopping was traumatic for me. I was that girl in the dressing room.
My body has grown and shrunk over the years. I've never been thin, but I certainly have been obese. Now I'm heavier than my doctor wants, but not as large as I was much of my life. No longer obese. And what my doctor wants is the metric I use these days, not what society brainwashes us into.
I still haven't learned to shut up the negative voice in my head haranguing me about weight. It's been there since childhood and has dug in deep. I'm trying to learn to worry more about health than societal standards. Though I'm no longer sure that trying to live to 90 in this society is a good idea. Perhaps I should just sit on the couch and eat cake.
OMG, I thought it was just me they called that. The Crisco Kid, fat in the can. This is when I was 5'4", 110 lbs. I had a figure somewhat like the one that later took Jennifer Lopez to fame and fortune, slender waist and curvy butt, though with smaller tits. But my family thought it clever to mock me, and it stuck. Later, while in a dysfunctional relationship where I ate my feelings, and started to gain weight, it didn't register. Because I was already "fat." Until suddenly, I WAS fat. And that's been my 50 year struggle.
Every generation has contradictions associated with it, though. One of the big contradictions of Gen Z is that they’ll march against political fascism and for inclusion all day long, but will cog in other control machines without a single critical thought, as long as the right influencer espouses it. For our generation, our paradox was that we hated the system that left us alone till our parent(s) came home, yet we built a digital world that makes our kids feel isolated, even when they’re in the same room as us.
This hit home for me, especially in light of the Epstein files.
My unnecessarily long comment:
There was a sadness, a grief that washed over me as I realized that Trump and his friends directly influenced fashion, Hollywood, and media; encouraging a child-like physique, no hips, boobs, or body hair.
It made me sick to know they shaped my perception of self, feeling the need to starve myself pretty, never feeling like I was small enough, and that there wasn’t ever an “enough”.
Idolizing girls with eating disorders because they “clearly” had more will power and strength. Feeling a panic knowing I may be expected to eat when attending a function or gathering, and feeling pride when someone inevitably commented on how little I was eating.
Remembering the thousands of times my reflection caught my attention in any reflective surface as an opportunity to compulsively check if I looked skinny enough, knowing the answer was always “no”.
Watching back the show Will and Grace reminds me of all the language and discussion surrounding body issues that were prevalent at the time.
Understanding all of that, I have made a conscious effort to not let my daughter hear me make negative comments about my body and not shaming food choices, but rather focusing on how food makes our body feel and how we feel when we express ourselves physically through clothing, accessories, and makeup.
A very wonderful comment. Not too long but one making points and providing examples and then a conclusion of where you are choosing to go with your awareness.
I agree that I need to be aware “enough”, studied “enough” and communicative “enough” to call out what we see as harmful. Who cares if we are the only ones to see that we shouldn’t all fit in to the same darn box unless we aren’t human “enough”.
Lynette, you're such an absolute gem and always so kind and encouraging.
Thank you so much.
Your kindness truly means more than you know.
Thanks Zooples you have wonderful thoughts to share and you are “just right” my Goldilocks friend.
Sally Struthers and Shawn Schweppes both broke the traditional mold of the 80s body image. They opened the doors for Thick Women.
I feel this so much. I've always been plump. My mom literally won beauty contests when she was young. My sister had "hollow legs" and could eat anything without gaining weight. Clothes shopping was traumatic for me. I was that girl in the dressing room.
My body has grown and shrunk over the years. I've never been thin, but I certainly have been obese. Now I'm heavier than my doctor wants, but not as large as I was much of my life. No longer obese. And what my doctor wants is the metric I use these days, not what society brainwashes us into.
I still haven't learned to shut up the negative voice in my head haranguing me about weight. It's been there since childhood and has dug in deep. I'm trying to learn to worry more about health than societal standards. Though I'm no longer sure that trying to live to 90 in this society is a good idea. Perhaps I should just sit on the couch and eat cake.
OMG, I thought it was just me they called that. The Crisco Kid, fat in the can. This is when I was 5'4", 110 lbs. I had a figure somewhat like the one that later took Jennifer Lopez to fame and fortune, slender waist and curvy butt, though with smaller tits. But my family thought it clever to mock me, and it stuck. Later, while in a dysfunctional relationship where I ate my feelings, and started to gain weight, it didn't register. Because I was already "fat." Until suddenly, I WAS fat. And that's been my 50 year struggle.